We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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