Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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