It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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