No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
