Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
