it was like eating out sand paper
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
