i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
