one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
