You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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