uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
babies were throwing up all over the place
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
