Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize