She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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