i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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