you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
