do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
