Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
