just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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