while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
