She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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