so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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