dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
