Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
