the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
