I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
