best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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