i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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