Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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