I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
worst night to have a conscience
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
