im drinking this country out of the recession.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.