Need sex. Gaining weight.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
