theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
