So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
