glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
