I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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