She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Randomize
