saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
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