i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
