I wish I only lived at night.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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