I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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