Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
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I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
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I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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