forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
