Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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