remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...