Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
