I'm gonna have a badass scar
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I have feelings that need drinking.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Success! We fucked roommates!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
