Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize