I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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