I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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