Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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