The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.