And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing