I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe