then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!