He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.