her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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