That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
So many bounce houses so little time
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
