She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
