I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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