i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
