She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
